Geez. Finally. It has been so long, since I don't know when, when I have felt the way have lately, that I am actually transmitting to the outside world. That the noise is quieter. I think it is scaring some people.
I finally am really, really letting him go, and it feels much nicer than the resistence. Who am I talking about? Josh, my son. That crazy SOB...oh wait that would mean I'm a ...well I am sometimes, surely. Yes, that little cherubsweetestlittlething that broke my heart by growing up, damn him! But hey, we survived it. We hung in there, we didn't break up. We've made it to a new place, a place we have both dreamed of, where he lives his life and I live mine. And it works much better this way. I am not him and he is not me. That seems pretty clear now with some perspective.
This is my life. I'm arriving at the middle.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
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