middle age=senior years-youth

My dad tried to convince me recently that I am already in, or quickly approaching middle age. There is just no way that is possible anyway you slice it. And what is middle age anyway? When does it start and when does it end? Well, I came up with this interesting theory while eating at Carrows the other day.

I did some research and it is widely believed that 40 is the age at which middle age begins. However, according to many experts on the subject of fashionable aging (Vogue and Cosmopolitan for example), 40 is the new 30. If this is true then it follows that 50 must be the new 40. Middle age has therefore been moved up 10 years. Are you with me so far? Okay.

Now according to the Carrows menu, another reliable source on the subject of defining age (not unlike the Dennys and Ihop menus), the "Senior" years begin at 55. That is the age at which one is eligible to order from the senior menu and to purchase food at a discounted price suitable for the limited income of the retired. You just can't argue with that.

If we plug this into a formula where Middle Age=Senior Years-Youth, then that means that middle age begins at 50 and ends 5 years later.

Now that, I can accept.