separation anxiety

I've been thinking about having another baby and of course all my friends who have just started having kids and are in the years of high maintenance can't belive I would think such a thing now that I am almost done.

One friend said, "Do you really want to do all that little kid stuff again? And the diapers? Ugh! I can't wait till she can make her self a bowl of ceareal in the morning and turn on cartoons so I can sleep in for once!"

If I've learned anything about human nature by being a parent (ok, and by being the child of my poor tortured parents), it's that people only really understand what they have experienced themselves and unsolicited wisdom you attempt to impart on others falls on deaf ears 83% of the time. So as to not offend the new Mom, I keep my yap shut and I don't say THIS IS THE FUN PART YOU IDIOT! YOUR ARE HAVING FUN!

What really gives me pause is the fact that if I had another child, I would have to go through the teenage years again. Oh, my GOD. Mothers of small children, do you understand what happens in the end? You give them everything they need (well, the stuff you know about anyway), run around like a crazy person for thier entire lives and then guess what? They leave...taking your bloody aching heart that they have ripped from the same body from where they came with them.

This is what I realized this weekend that caused 3 days of uncontollable sobbing. I feel that I have painfully entered into the hardest stage and most crucial part of all stages of parenting ....Letting Go.